I always needed a reason to blog. Or maybe I didn't, but now I guess I've realized a purpose. My husband recently deployed to Afghanistan a few days after Christmas. This is our first deployment. We have a baby girl named Lennon Caroline, who, just so happens to be named after John Lennon. She's almost 17 months old and my pride and joy. I'm hoping this space will help me to not feel so alone. To possibly connect with other military families going through the same thing I am. I'm hoping this will be my outlet. I also really want to practice my grammar and spelling before I head back to school to finish my history degree. Anyway, that's that.

I've realized since Will has been gone that there are okay days and bad days. Today happens to be a bad day. I'm not sure if it's because I've forgotten to take prozac (major depression) or klonapin (generalized anxiety disorder) the last 2 days or if it's just because it's a bad day. Maybe i'm in denial, but I think it's just a bad day. Will has been getting upset with me lately because I want to skype all of the time. I've been getting upset with myself for wanting to skype all of the time too. I'm giving myself some leeway, but Will made a good point. He mentioned that it's making the deployment go by extremely slow; he's right. It's crawling by for me. So, we both agreed to have a skype date on his one day off a week. In between, if he wants/needs to skype with Lennon, he can email me. Likewise for myself. He's starting classes soon, so I don't want to bombard him with skype. I need to take care of the home front and let him do his thing over there. It's just so depressing without him here. I never realized how hard this would be.